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Joke of the Day
"If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts."
Next Joke
"Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked."
"My girlfriend said she's break up with me if I didn't stop being a casanova. Apparently she doesn't like that I live in my Chevy."
"[inventing the parrot] HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU"
"Which part of a billiards setup can you use to clean your ears? The cue tip."
"Why does Father Time wear bandages? Because day breaks and night falls."
"Wild horses could easily drag me away. In fact, a pair of determined guinea pigs could probably give me a run for my money."
"I was talking to a Hiroshima survivor about his near death experience... He told me he saw the light"
"Life hack for driving Always get your driver's license picture taken when your stoned. That way, the police will think you always look that way."
"The most well known activist in the bee community is Bill Cause Bee."