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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about terrorism in Europe At least our planes take off and land at an airport."

"NYC's New Year's sucked. They really dropped the ball this year."

"[traffic jam] MAN: [rolls down window] Dude, why? ME: [in the next car holding a rabbit as it repeatedly kicks the horn] It's his birthday"

"Waitresses/waiters of reddit... When you got interviewed for the position, did you tell them that you bring a lot to the table?"

"A battery murdered another battery He was charged with murder and put in a duracell."

"They gave me some cake but it was way too basic and burned my mouth. Turns out the cake was a lye. ^^^^^^sorry"

"I tried to buy some purfume from a vending machine, But it was out of odour"

"How do you burn a lot of calories at once? Douse a fat person with gasoline and light a match"

"Some Ho decided to hit me in the face yesterday... Fucking garden tools."

"What does a Oompa Loompa Rabbi have for breakfast? Orange Juice"