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Joke of the Day

"Girl said she wanted to have my babies so I invited her over. But she didn't look happy when I told her to put them to bed by 8 and went out"

"What do you call a myth from the middle east? A turban legend"

"I was raping a women may night when.., She said think of her children Kinky bitch!"

"Who sends flowers on Valentines Day? Cupigs!"

"Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house."

"What did the ocean ask the scooba diver? Water you doing here?"

"What's the only thing worse than a third Bush as president? A first Trump as president."

"Women don't deserve to be paid as much as men and should stay in the kitchen. I'd go on, but that's the misogyngist of it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the Chinese newspaper. Get it?"

"My father got crushed by a falling piano. His funeral was very low key."