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Joke of the Day

"officer, buying weed from a guy who sells on the side is basically shopping local. you should be THANKING me for supporting our community."

"My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid."

"Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? To Make America Great Again"

"911 - 911 what's your emergency Me - I am Australian and I watch too much American TV 911 - .... Me - I don't know our emergency number"

"What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino? elephino. (Hell if I know)"

"Next time my 5 y/o says ""Daddy, guess what?"", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years."

"Woman across from me will NOT shut up about her where she works. Ugh, I hate job interviews."

"Hey do you like bowpha? Bowpha deez nutts"

"What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well it's back to the old grind!"

"If they crossover the stories of King Midas and Oedipus... It'll be pure motherfucking gold!"