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Joke of the Day
"If they crossover the stories of King Midas and Oedipus... It'll be pure motherfucking gold!"
Next Joke
"I told my Canadian friend that I ran zero miles today... she said that was 0K"
"Texts: Cool! What does it say? Emails: Oh God... what do they want? Phone call: I basically assume someone has died."
"""Grammar: it's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit"""
"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call ...."
"Here is an old joke my old man used to tell me There is a 4 year old, 6 year old, 8 year old, 10 year old, and me trying to catch a home run ball. Who gets the ball? Me because fuck them"
"What's the difference between a lawyer and a whore?` None. They both fuck people for a living."
"So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)"
"What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist? Is there a dog?"
"A Mexican magician says that he can disappear on the count of three. ""Uno, dos..."", he says before he was suddenly gone. He disappeared without a tres."