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Joke of the Day

"My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house."

"What's the difference between a redditor and a dead baby? The redditor never gets gold"

"""Hashtag."" #ReplaceAOneWordMovieTitleWithTheWordHashtag"

"Narcos + Sushi thought for the day: How have I never come across a roll called the ""Pablo Escolar""? That is all. You may laugh now."

"I climaxed on a blind girl's boobs yesterday She didn't see it coming"

"If cavemen had Twitter we would still not have fire."

"RIP to that hoodie you left at your ex-gf's house. She says she has no idea what youre talkin about but she knows. Wheres my hoodie, Denise?"

"People setting up GoFundMe's because they can't afford a TV... Don't you know that's what lay-a-way is for?"

"What did the homeless prostitute's boyfriend call her? his hobo"

"I update my Facebook picture to a jail mugshot over the holidays so my family will go visit someone else."