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Joke of the Day

"My wife's been missing for two weeks and the police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the Goodwill and got her clothes back."

"Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book? It's called ""One More Thyme"""

"Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row."

"How are a piano and a squirrel alike? They both aren't artichokes"

"Say - didja hear about the LGBT who keeps telling bad Bruce Jenner jokes? (wait for it ... wait for it Yeah - every one thinks he's a real bruisance ..."

"During activities I'm like batteries I'm never included"

"Reason why I'm single... Because it's impossible to be double."

"Hi, childless people. I just meticulously peeled the skin off a pickle. Cuz the pickle was ""bumpy."" Enjoy your day. Not de-bumping pickles."

"Once upon a time I tried to make a joke in a music class Sadly, it fell flat."

"Girls that are 16 and pregnant look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34."