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Joke of the Day

"""well that's a load on my back"" - relieved slut"

"*makes 58008 on an abacus and turns it upside down* dammit"

"What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out? Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)"

"What is Bart Simpsons' favorite kind of fish? Stealhead!"

"What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler! ^^^... ^^^I ^^^know, ^^^I ^^^know, ^^^/r/dadjokes ^^^is ^^^thataway"

"[1st date] Maybe next time i could meet your dog [2nd date] Your dog is so cool [3rd date] Do u mind if me & your dog hung out without you"

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a nobel prize? They said he was outstanding in his field"

"For #BackToTheFutureDay try and get your mom to hit on you."

"The White House Correspondents' Dinner is ... just a big political party."

"Classic joke at my Catholic High School I went up to a man and said ""Jesus is the messiah"" He said ""No way"" I said ""Yah-weh"""