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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler! ^^^... ^^^I ^^^know, ^^^I ^^^know, ^^^/r/dadjokes ^^^is ^^^thataway"

"What does the Dalai Lama order from the pizza shop? One with everything"

"The key to wrapping presents is to think outside the box."

"Hey Science, ""mission accomplished"" on the boner pills. How about a laptop battery that will stay up for four hours."

"[M] What's the hardest part of owning a cat? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Why was epsilon afraid of zeta? Because zeta ate a theta"

"I had tears in my eyes when my dad chopped up Onions I loved Onions. He was a great dog."

"Guns don't kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people."

"John Boehner killed a bug at the state for the union address It was a House fly."

"Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof."