208423

Joke of the Day

"A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police."

"[Rorschach test] Patient: Leprechauns in cheetah print unitards kickflipping over flaming tree stumps Dr: I think we can skip the others"

"Doughnut boxes advertise ""ZERO TRANS FAT"" as if anyone buying a box of doughnuts cares about the nutritional content."

"Do you know why cows have hooves instead of feet? It's because they lactose!"

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty bastards."

"How do you measure pain? In Hertz."

"At first, I was ashamed of reading erotica ,but then I came to terms."

"Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems."

"You show me a piano falling down,a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat miner."

"""Yes, I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom, please."" ""Sir, that's a sleeping bag."""