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Joke of the Day

"Ok I won't subliminally ask any more subtraction problems, but I only did it 6 or maybe 3 times. What's the difference?"

"An octopus is very cool because if Snow White and the Seven Dwarves were drowning, it would have enough tentacles to save all of them."

"What do you call a diseased duck? A Mallardy."

"Clark Kent: *sits glasses on counter* Lois Lane: Who are you and where did the new countertop come from?"

"Soon-Yi Previn. Not the first Asian chick to have a secret woody..."

"How many people does it take to start a riot? -3/5"

"what idiot called it a best man instead of a lord of the rings"

"5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette."

"Missing a period is probably a Grammar Nazi's worst nightmare."

"How can you open a banana? With a monkey!"