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Joke of the Day

"If your band's name is a plural & it doesn't have a ""the"" in front of it, I will fucking put one there."

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"Where do Chicago football fans buy engagement rings? De Beers"
"A policeman just knocked on the door. He said, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident..."" I said ""Yes but she has a great personality!"""
"What's 12 inches long and stiff in the morning? Cot death."
"So i asked this girl to have phone sex with me.. She said she cant, because she has Virgin Mobile.."
"I'm not racist Because racism is a crime. And crime is for black people."
"What's the one thing a mechanic can't fix? Stupid"
"What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? Mumbai!"
"If you want to work for a company that makes moisturiser, the best thing to do is to apply daily."
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk."