152611

Joke of the Day

"[last day at job] ""You've made my life a misery, I hate you all"" [remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift] ""Not you tho Phil"""

"Saw a really attractive woman the other day... She was wearing a miniskirt and a really low-cut shirt and I kept thinking to myself, ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" She did...."

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"Just started listening to Fall Out Boy. They're more than I bargained for."

"Say Gabe Horn"

"What Do You Call Two Trains Crossing A Road? A Bad City Planner!"

"I know a joke... that's so dark the police almost shot it."

"Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just ""let it go"". My 6 year old told me this. I will show myself out now..."

"I'm in a Japanese restaurant. I shit you not. They have a vegetable tempura appetizer called ""Mushroom Cloud."" I'm afraid to order it."

"Did you hear of the pig who began hiding garbage In November? She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early."