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Joke of the Day

"""I didn't choose the thug life."" I explain, entering an institution of higher learning."

"I invented a new word. Blooptershlorfin. I figured ""plagarism"" has been invented enough times already..."

"I usually hate having long hair But I think it's growing on me."

"A libertarian vote walks out of a bar ... ... and goes, ""God, I'm wasted."""

"I love Kit Kats the most whenever there aren't three other people around."

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her So I hit her over the head with my Xbox."

"What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines"

"Donald Trump is going to demand to see Hilary Clinton's birth certificate... to make sure she is a woman."

"What is worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know, and i don't care.."

"*jesus turns water to wine* me: you can't just insert goods into an economy you'll cause deflation Jesus: my child- me: NO! it's bullshit!"