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Joke of the Day

"Toy Story (1995) - A influential local leader harasses an immigrant who is struggling to adapt to local customs."

"The first year I didn't eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after. I quit cold turkey."

"What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A tank!!!! PEW PEW PEW!!"

"Hey, dude who's still lighting fireworks at midnight, nobody would notice a couple of gunshots right now."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.. I can't put it down."

"Did you hear about the discount rabbi for circumcisions? He'll take up to 10% off."

"a great headline for when there is a world wide fresh water shortage will be ""water we gonna do??"" we will need the laughs"

"Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help."

"How do you tell apart a Chinese from a Japanese? With a Geiger Counter."

"If you get robot arms don't get the cheap ones [starts clapping for no reason]"