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Joke of the Day

"Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help."

"Why do dogs make good sailors? They know their knots."

"Only thing I Iike about kids, is their ability to attract ice cream trucks"

"What do you call it when a group of Germans give you money online? Kraut funding"

"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)"

"I like my puns like I like my sausages... the wurst ones are the best."

"Aieee, Ginsburg's dead! If you've never heard the joke with this punchline, find someone who knows it and ask him to tell it to you. It's very funny, but it's too long to bother typing out here."

"Yo mama's so fat when she goes to Taco Bell they run for the border !!"

"I went to an Indian restaurant and ordered a Pelican curry... ...it wasn't a bad meal, but the bill was enormous."

"[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] ""It doesn't matter if its a dog, it's still called a cat scan"""