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Joke of the Day

"a great headline for when there is a world wide fresh water shortage will be ""water we gonna do??"" we will need the laughs"

"I was woken on the plane by a panicky stewardess That's how i lost my job as a pilot."

"Why does Bruce Willis always play the bald guy?"

"my signature move is yelling ""where in the fridge?!"" and ""i don't see it!"" until my mom comes and finds the applesauce for me"

"A man noticed that his thermometer had come down with a nasty cold. Medicine in hand, he asked the thermometer, ""How are you feeling?"" The thermometer responded, ""0K."""

"My new app is called Tech Bubble. It makes all the other app icons on your phone float around like bubbles. Current valuation: $3 trillion."

"My friend cooled himself to absolute zero... he's 0K now."

"You can't force someone to love you. All you can do is hire a panda suit and wait outside their window reading sonnets."

"Why did the book critic give The Road a bad review? Too many plot holes."

"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"