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Joke of the Day

"I told my son about the birds and the bees... He told me about my wife and the mail man. I get no respect"

"kid dressed as dog: ""trick or treat"" me: wife: ""give him some chocolate then"" me: ""i don't want to kill him linda"""

"Simpsons TapOut/Awesome Best game out in long time. I'm so addicted to it that it seems to be a issue with my relationship. Lol!!!"

"What's the best thing about North Korea? The traffic."

"Spilled yogurt on my shirt and now I can't stop thinking of selling shirts made of yogurt. The Yoshirt. I taste potential. And mixed berry."

"I think it's a bad sign that when 9 tries to play charades, everyone's first guess is ""constipation."""

"Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on him."

"My wife can't cook so she asked me for help in baking a cake. I told her to separate 2 eggs... She put one in the bedroom and one in the bathroom.. Ijit."

"You better lock your doors tonight, person who taught my parents texting."

"What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster who got breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."