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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me Than a frontal lobotomy."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Chopin ! Chopin who ? Chopin the supermarket !"

"Who lives in a hut with a couple pieces of trash and two grains of rice? An Ethiopian person who has been hoarding for several years now."

"What does a goat have when it gives birth? A kid."

"Did you hear about the Million Dollar Dutch Lottery? It's great! If you win, you gat a dollar each year... for a million years."

"All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because his barista fucking hastes hipsters."

"So my homework told me to use a table to solve the equation But I already am using a table to solve it. What, should I normally do my math on the floor?!"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number that you'll never understand."

"Me: ""I'd like to pay by card."" Waiter: ""Contactless?"" Me: ""No, you can cuddle me."""