152337
Joke of the Day
"""I got 99 problems, but falling asleep ain't one."" ~ Jay-ZZZ"
Next Joke
"Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van. But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping."
"Camels don't mind carrying Arabs around... They just think they smell like Shi'ite."
"Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no."
"Don't grocery shop hungry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't promise when ur happy. Don't do anything. Just kinda sit there til u die."
"What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist."
"My girlfriend nicknamed me after a piece of classical music She calls me Canon in D Major"
"""The Spoon"" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. . Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."
"Little monster: Mom why can't we have dustbins like everyone else? Mother monster: Less talking more eating please."
"Hey, did you hear that I'm dating Carbon Monoxide? They're a little clingy though, it feels like they're suffocating me"