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Joke of the Day

"My dad told a lame joke today I told him to stop because he never makes funny jokes. His replay was - I made you didn't I?"

"why are Americans like women? Because they always turn up late and take all the credit for winning the war"

"My father used to say ""Life is like a box of chocolates..."" **BECAUSE WOMEN WILL DESTROY YOU.**"

"How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go swimming?"

"Maybe if we start smacking people when they say something stupid, evolution will eventually create a delay between thinking and speaking."

"I wanted to have sex with Uma Thurman until I saw her toes in Kill Bill."

"""Are you girls straight?... ...lesbianest"""

"Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group. Because that is where the ISIS."

"Why does the Earth love geologists? They really get it's rocks off"

"High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway"