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Joke of the Day

"The masochist and the sadist. What did the masochist say to the sadist? ""Hit me."" What did the sadist say to the masochist? ""No."""

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"What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming? Pork! Pork! Pork!"
"What's the difference between acne and a Child Molester? Acne waits till you are 13 to come all over your face."
"Two jewelers saw a man get shot to death. The first jeweler looks at the second and says, ""I'm absolutely opalled! The second just looks down and says, ""I dunno man, I'm just too jaded to care."""
"How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One they're just like the rest of us except they're good with money."
"I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio."
"Why do frat bros hate fruit loops? They're eternally disappointed by two-can Sam."
"What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed? God bless America."
"Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year."
"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted."
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