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Joke of the Day

"I learned mathematical fractions from a drug dealer. He said if I don't pay $4,000 in 7 days, I'll lose 3 fingers."

"Depressed cows feel like life is udderly hopeless. But now there's hope. Ask your doctor if Cowbucil is right for your cow."

"Two guys walk into a bar... ... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"A woman goes to the doctor with a nail in her ear 'What's the matter?' asks the doctor. 'I'm listening to metal.' she answers."

"A limbo champion walks into a bar And loses his title."

"(My 99 y/o Jewish grandma told me this joke tonight and I have never heard it before) - ""Why was Abraham Lincoln Jewish?"" Because he was shot in the temple."

"one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process"

"The Duracell Bunny was in deep trouble... He just got charged with battery"

"What do you call a confidence game within a confidence game within (yet another) confidence game? Conception"

"A doctor enters a patients room and pulls out an anal thermometer from his pocket and says Damn. Some asshole has my pen."