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Joke of the Day

"A doctor enters a patients room and pulls out an anal thermometer from his pocket and says Damn. Some asshole has my pen."

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice! Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone."

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? 1 in 3 million have a chance of becoming a human being"

"Christmas lights remind me of some people I know. They all hang out together, half the fuckers don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!!!!"

"""hello 9-1-1 whats your emergency?"" hi yes it's me again i left the house 3 min ago but just realized i forgot my headphones"

"To a struggling artist: ""Don't give up... ...the day job."""

"What's little, brown, and found in the woods? Winnies' pooh."

"I was watching the WWE wrestling with my son today... ...when I finally snapped at the whole charade and blatant fakeness of it all. It's about time he was told he's adopted."

"What does a black man do after sex? 15 years to life"

"What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas? Ince pies!"