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Joke of the Day

"one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process"

"The worst thing you could hear after orally pleasing Willie Nelson. I'm not Willie Nelson."

"GOD: Go forth, my tiny friends! ANTS: Hooray! ANGEL: Ok next creation ... The anteater. ANTS: The what now?"

"Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?"

"Close your eyes. Now imagine a peaceful meadow. That meadow represents your betrayal. I told you to close your eyes, but you kept reading."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Killer Keemstar (DramaAlert)? Hitler knew when to kill himself. (Got this from the youtube comments of Hell)"

"""Diamonds are forever. But so is herpes."" This is why I never get hired to write advertising campaigns."

"Hey, hip hop artists. Would it kill you to throw in a few rhymes about raisin toast or farmers' markets?"

"What do you call a fish who went to medical school? A sTurgeon"

"Irreplaceable - Beyonce. I can have another you by tomorrow."