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Joke of the Day

"Overall productive day.. *Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks *Called my mom *Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist"

"What do you call an exploding dinosaur? Dino-mite"

"I listen to trump rallies before I go to bed They're all white noise."

"Do you know about Bassist heaven? I've never heard of it"

"I'ts so cold outside... I actually saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer... She says, ""Great, some asshole's got my pen."""

"What does an egg say to another egg? Nothing, eggs can't talk."

"After 4 months, I lost 270 pounds Now she's my ex-wife"

"My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here."

"65 year old guy i work with came at me with this one the other day What does a 80 year old women taste like? Depends.."