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Joke of the Day
"She would have gotten away... ...if she had also changed her name to Rachel Dolizzle."
Next Joke
"wife: dont say anythin stupid on the way out me: i wont [shakes priest's hand after lovely wedding ceremony] me: so are you god's boyfriend?"
"u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith"
"Mitt Romney announcing he's not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won't be a sequel to Mortdecai."
"My new girlfriend has one leg shorter than the other... Her name is Ilene Wright."
"If the angel Gabriel came from heaven how was he so sure that Mary was pregnant?"
"You're not a mistake. Mistakes can be fixed. You're hopeless."
"Hey dad, how does it feel to have such a handsome son? I don't know son, ask your grandfather."
"Where did Hitler watch TV? In his *Lebensraum.*"
"Rapture's tomorrow. Christians will be flying up into the air to meet Jesus. Two words: DUCK HUNT"