151861

Joke of the Day

"*makes typo* *deletes tweet* *deletes twitter* *deletes life*"

"Mike Tyson's biggest problem was he never had a strong male role model growing up. Mike's dad walked out on the family very early on, after Mike raped him."

"Its and old, old joke... But some how it came to mind last night: ""Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"" (Tnx to Jeff Greenfield)"

"I don't need to lie. But, sometimes, I like to give the truth an extreme makeover."

"My Christmas tree is on a timer It lights up everyday at 4:20"

"Woke up late, so I put Red Bull in the coffee machine instead of water. Got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my fucking car!"

"Wasn't wearing my glasses at the park and bent down to pet some guy's gym bag. How's your night going?!"

"What's the difference between a dog and a fox? About 6 beers."

"Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes? He wanted to go bear foot."

"I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone."