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Joke of the Day

"Woke up late, so I put Red Bull in the coffee machine instead of water. Got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my fucking car!"

"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days."

"I'm white, but not ""clap my hands above my head at a hip hop concert"" white."

"LPT: When cooking chicken, it needs a lot of support Alone, it tastes absolutely fowl."

"10, 27, 28, 30, 32 walk into a bar... 10 says ""I'm drinking age, I swear!"" The bartender says ""Outlier!"""

"Everyone keeps guessing who Rey's parents are, but who delivered her as a baby? OB-Gyn Kenobi"

"What's the best way to save on toilet paper? Slow your roll."

"Whats the difference between a fridge and a vagina? A fridge doesn't fart when you get the meat out."

"My goal is to one day make it through an entire p orn movie."

"Calculus derives me crazy!!"