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Joke of the Day

"Woke up late, so I put Red Bull in the coffee machine instead of water. Got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my fucking car!"

"Job interview with Al-Qaeda Had a job interview with Al-Qaeda today. ""Where do you see yourself exploding in five years? "", they asked."

"I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn't be allowed to leave Wal Mart."

"What language does gay Jesus speak? Heblew"

"I am Poliachi Man laughs, roll on snare drum"

"Careful girls, fat guys just wanna get inside your pantries."

"Why was the gunman on a diet? Because he was still at large."

"Why are colds such bad robbers? Because they're so easy to catch!"

"Cop1:did u hear about the kidnapping? Cop2: should we go help? Cop1: No it's ok he woke up. This fall on CBS ""Good Cop, Dad Cop"""

"If I could meet any celebrity it might have to be David Schwimmer. In a schwimming pool. Learning how to schwim."