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Joke of the Day

"Did you know: the average American spends 8,000 years of their life refilling Brita water pitchers."

"Last night my girlfriend asked me ""Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?"" What I actually heard was ""Do you want a fight?"""

"When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I'm tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets."

"Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother who was an evil scientist. His name was Frank Einstein"

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat it until she starts again."

"Took my Grandma to a nibble fish spa.. It's cheaper than burial or cremation!"

"Clown Plays cruel joke on Black Guy Black guy get bashed over the head with a powered sock!"

"Had sex with my nephew's English teacher. Texted her the next day ""Last nite was grate. Your so awsome!"" so I don't have to see her again."

"No, not bisexual, I said beesexual. I fuck bees."

"How Many Running Backs Does It Take To Turn On A Light? Two. One to find the switch...the other to hit it."