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Joke of the Day

"Psychics A young psychic dwarf escapes from prison. The newspaper headline the next day: ""Small Medium at Large"". Edit: Small not short"

"The only people who get more concussions than NFL players.. are their wives"

"Someone just licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward."

"*Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear."

"The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings."

"How do you tell the difference between an introvert or extrovert software engineer? The extrovert looks at your feet when talking."

"Q: Why did the ox fall down the hill? A: It was an oxident."

"In the Walking Dead how and when does the cop guy find time to clean, iron, and press his uniform during the zombie apocalypse?"

"Culturally speaking... Having a McDonald's in a WalMart is like finding a cyst in a tumour."

"why don't melons run away to get married? because they cantaloupe"