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Joke of the Day

"What was Hitler's favorite way to tie his boots? In Nazi's!"

"What is green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."

"Why a centipede cannot fly coach? Not enough leg room!"

"""Pick a card....any card."" -impatient Hallmark employee"

"I think Jennifer Aniston was filmed on a green screen in 2003 and it gets released with a different background and co-star twice a year."

"I always used to think my parents are like siblings' sounds so much better than, my parents are, like, siblings.'"

"My son, you were thrown out of school today for letting a girl jerk you off. Son, that's three schools this year... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

"Seven days with no food makes Juan week."

"I like my women like I like my Building 7. Going down for no reason. That's a conspiracy reference that 9 out of 11 people don't get. It's an inside joke."