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Joke of the Day

"What does a robot do after sex? Nuts and bolts"

"Do cannibals prefer red or white wine with dinner? They're not fussed, as long as it's full bodied."

"What do you call the stage a ladybug goes through before it becomes an adult? Pupa-ty. ^^**ba-dum* ^^*psh**"

"I'm amazed by the number of people who text while driving. How do they manage to maintain control of their car without spilling their beer?"

"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: sir calm down ME (having panic attack): sorry I've never flown before PILOT (over intercom): dont worry neither have I lol"

"It's called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"I was flattered that our mailman calls me ""Sunshine"" until I overheard him call my neighbor, the double amputee, ""Speedy."""

"I always get the last word in arguments with my girlfriend. I just say ""Yes ma'am"""

"The world would be a better place if we all got along like the ""Price is Right"" audience."

"I went to buy a Christmas tree today The cashier asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I reply, ""No you sick fuck I'll be putting it up in my living room!"""