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Joke of the Day

"My cat sat up from a dead sleep and stared, frantic toward the empty basement laundry room so I guess I'll be buying a new house now."

"question about god? if god can do anything can he do nothing?"

"My answering machine message: ""I have caller ID, please don't leave a message, I will not be returning your call."" No beep, just a foghorn."

"What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas? Very hungry."

"Why is the UK suddenly a happy place? Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!"

"FACT : Half of all missing person reports involve people trying to find their way out of IKEA."

"Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable."

"How do you break the nose of a blonde without touching her? Wave your cock underneath a glass table"

"Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner."

"I've been interrogating this dog for hours and he still won't tell me who's a good boy."