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Joke of the Day

"There was a kidnapping at school! It's ok though, he woke up."

"The guys at Futurama really didn't do their research... Vice President Agnew was at lest a head taller than depicted!"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking JK Rowling"

"I don't know how to tell my friends . . . that rather than hang out with them, I would prefer to be at home, alone, daydreaming about having better friends I would actually want to hang out with."

"Q: What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over? A: A dirty double crosser."

"What did the Triceratops sit on? Its Tricerabottom."

"Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak"

"If you can read but still watch the Kardashians please donate your unused literacy to someone who might use it."

"If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink."

"Why is the Mississippi so wide? Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse."