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Joke of the Day

"Why do midget's laugh when running? Because the grass tickles there balls"

"Velcro... That's a rip off"

"I'm the designated driver so it's mini bottles in the restroom for me"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang up the picture."

"I'll stop calling you a racist if you stop bragging about all the marathons you run."

"What's the difference between unhealthy lipids and a tumblrina? One is a trans fat, the other is a fat trans."

"So... I want Ebola cereal... "

"Freedom of speech only means you can't be jailed for it. You still have to be accountable for what comes out of your stupid, bigoted face."

"An Indian friend of mine used to hit his wife every night at 7.30... ..on the dot."

"In 1987, we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope... ...now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope."