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Joke of the Day

"I'm the designated driver so it's mini bottles in the restroom for me"

"Friend: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Me: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother."

"My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson."

"What do farmers say when something is important to them? It plays a big tractor."

"""Whoever smelt it, dealt it..."" ""...so technically officer, this is YOUR marijuana"""

"[roulette] ME: [slaps table] 50 on red CROUPIER: Sir that is 50 pictures of Celine Dion ME: Yes and if I win [grabs him] you owe me 50 more"

"My then 7 yo son came up with this one. Warning: NSFL (I think. This is /r/Jokes, so...) Knock knock *Who's there?* Ala *Ala who?* Ala oo akbar!!! Bkhkhkhhhhhhhh!!! (explosion sound) :P"

"Saved a little girl from getting raped this weekend I raped a little boy instead"

"My music teacher was arrested for sticking his dick through a sheet of music Apparently, it's illegal to have sex with A minor"

"Do you guys remember the joke about Jonestown... Me neither but I heard the punch line killed em'"