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Joke of the Day

"I wish black people took jokes... ...as well as they took bullets."

"A boy to his mother: Do you know how much suffering the poor beast had to endure for you to get this fur coat? My boy, you mustn't talk so disrespectfully about your father."

"Yo mama so fat! Her Prius gets 12mpg."

"What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture."

"Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein."

"Repeat after me: President Trump."

"If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now."

"Mars and NASA Mars: Come over NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away Mars: I'm wet NASA: I'm coming over"

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less. [GRAMMAR NAZI BUSTS IN] ""MINE FEWER."" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said ""Keep the change"" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase."