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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture."

"If you get mixed up when you read with your fingers, you're just Braillely dyslexic."

"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"

"My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter."

"My friend was run over by a car. And man did he lose his head over it."

"Pretty rude of you to have a crush on someone else when I've done absolutely nothing to show I'm attracted to you."

"I'm so hungry that I can eat a Centaur"

"why are flies the biggest troll? they only live for three days, and spend it fucking with you"

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic... ...and the mental health system is failing me miserably."

"What did the salad say before being eaten Lettuce go."