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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture."

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"If you get mixed up when you read with your fingers, you're just Braillely dyslexic."
"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"
"My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter."
"My friend was run over by a car. And man did he lose his head over it."
"Pretty rude of you to have a crush on someone else when I've done absolutely nothing to show I'm attracted to you."
"I'm so hungry that I can eat a Centaur"
"why are flies the biggest troll? they only live for three days, and spend it fucking with you"
"Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic... ...and the mental health system is failing me miserably."
"What did the salad say before being eaten Lettuce go."