18739

Joke of the Day

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less. [GRAMMAR NAZI BUSTS IN] ""MINE FEWER."" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"A tree tipped over A lot of pounds crashed to the ground"

"To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? because it was being chased by Mila Kunis."

"A bee just landed on my cheek and didn't sting me. I think we're dating now."

"[OC] Did you hear about this new restaurant they're opening called The Glory Hole? ...Yeah, it's a real hole in the wall."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. *drops mic, gets beat by security*"

"[pours a bag of sugar over a tire fire] hmmm [tastes remnants] i think i'll call it... Twizzlers"

"""Everything I touch just turns to shit!"" - Large intestines"

"Why did the scarecrow win the award? He was outstanding in his field."