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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to hell. Q: whats the hardest part about cooking a vegetable A: getting the wheelchair into the oven edit: formating"

"What do you have when you have 1000 whites skydiving? Oil"

"I was going to exercise until I remembered the story about that healthy guy that died that one time."

"'I HATE drama!' -Dramatic people"

"What do you call a computer that only plays sad songs? Adele"

"I tried ""Netflix and chill?"" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls."

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away! Well grandma, that's how organ donation works."

"What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vaccuum? The position of the dirt bag."

"What do old people often do? Die"

"Spanish joke... Un pez dijo al otro pez, ""Que hace tu padre?"" Nada"