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Joke of the Day

"If you're over the age of 5, and are trying to be cute by saying: sorry as: sowee - I will kick you in your pwivates."

"""Donald is intensely loyal. To family, friends, employees, country."" -His 3rd wife"

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)."

"An old married couple talk sex. Wife: What ever happened to our sex relations? Husband: I don't know, they don't even send Christmas cards anymore."

"I'm starting to think people are having babies solely for the Facebook likes."

"Donald trump was caught masturbating during a rally, He was blowing his own trumpet."

"Why doesn't Trump like Google? Bing, bing, bing... (Source: The Daily Show, by Trevor Noah)"

"You can never tell when someone's had plastic surgery. It always looks super real & not weird or awful. You should get some."

"Why are giraffes so tall? Because cheetahs are faster."

"Nuts Two peanuts walk into a bar, one of em was a salted!"