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Joke of the Day

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)."

Next Joke
 
"[NSFW] A Jelly Baby goes to the Doctor... Jelly Baby: ""Doctor, Doctor, my penis has gone black."" Doctor: ""What have you been doing?!"" Jelly Baby: ""I don't know... Fucking allsorts!"""
"So a neutron walks into a bar... So a nutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ""how much for a drink?"" bartender simply shrugs and replies, ""for you, no charge."""
"So today my dad called me a ""Smart Alec""... ...but I had to remind him, my name is not and never was Alec."
"A horse walks into a bar.. The bartender asks ""why the long face?"" The horse, unable to speak English, shits on the floor and then leaves."
"What does pubic hair and celery have in common? Just move it to the side and keep eating."
"Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist."
"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...hot and in my hands **right now**."
"What's worse than nine eleven? 311"
"As a customs officer, I don't always agree with people... ...but I see where they come from."