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Joke of the Day
"So I proposed to my girlfriend at a funeral today. She wasn't happy. Apparently I killed the mood."
Next Joke
"Which came first? Chicken or the Egg? Neither. I CAME first!"
"An Airport goes to the Dr... And the Dr says, ""i have bad news. You have cancer."" The airport replies, ""oh no, what kind?"" ""Terminal."""
"<job interview> It says here on your resume that you are a ""self-proclaimed man of few words."" Would you like to elaborate on that? Me: no"
"The year is 2089. Toasters are made clear now and no one burns toast or bagels. Crime is at 0%"
"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."
"[Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit"
"Oh look, it's raining outside. I think I'll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don't have a window of their own."
"Been watching Sharknado. When did Tara Reid turn 60??"
"What did one lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog? They're right! We do taste like chicken!"