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Joke of the Day

"A leper gave me the finger the other day I was upset, but I still did the right thing and gave it back"

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"2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more."
"A child was born with no eyelids, so doctors created some using his foreskin It worked okay, but he was a little cockeyed"
"They say ""dress for the job you want,"" but this space suit chafes and I'm not convinced that Arby's is truly committed to a space program."
"Now that Britain has left the EU, you'll need a Visa to get in and around ...for everything else, there's Mastercard."
"Did you hear that Willy Nelson died? He was singing on the road again."
"As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect."
"Two muffins are baking in the oven. One looks at the other and says ""it sure is getting hot in here, whew!"" The other muffin looks back and says ""Holy Shit! A talking muffin!"""
"How can you tell if your dog is gay? If he's sucking another dogs dick in the back of a gay dog night club."
"Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time."