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Joke of the Day

"I left work yesterday at 4:59 instead of 5:00 I was technically leaving early, but the difference was minute."

"MOM: [walks into daughter's room, sees protest signs, history books, list of senators' phone numbers on bed] Are you... politically active?"

"What do you call a fat joke on reddit? Banned"

"A gay man killed his cheating boyfriend The Police call it ""homocide"""

"What does a cow measure its harddrive in? Moogabytes"

"What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream."

"Guy walks into his house with a duck under his arm. His wife's standing there. He says ""This is the pig I've been fucking""."

"Why did Winnie the Pooh want to become an astronaut? Because he wanted to go on a honeymoon."

"How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, except she scissors it in."

"I hear U.S military bases in the Middle East party hard. The soldiers there are always taking shots."