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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime"

"New egg is so Corny (Have they always done this) http://oi61.tinypic.com/33kak2a.jpg"

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can sleep with a light on."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter."

"4: Where did I come from? Me: Mommy's belly. 4: How'd I get there? Me: I, uh...put you there? 4: How did you... Me: WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?!"

"Why can't gay people play poker? Because they can't keep a straight face."

"What do you do with spoiled fish food? Load it in the chum dumpster."

"A father says to his son, Father: son stop masturbating so much or you'll go blind Son: dad I'm over here"

"I need to start buying Tupperware to store my leftovers before throwing them out two weeks later."

"Standing in disbelief at an automated door that isn't opening for me is the closest I'll ever feel to having been born rich."