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Joke of the Day

"While walking home from the gym... I saw one of my aerospace engineer buddies at Starbucks. He was buried in his work when I walked next to him and asked, ""bruh, do you even lift?"""

"Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time? It was a dead heat."

"[sermon] There will come a day when Christ will drive out evil from our land, and it will be the Judgment Day! *T-1000 shifts nervously*"

"I don't watch basketball... If I wanted to see a load of black guys scoring every minute, I'd go to your mother's house."

"What do you call a white supremacist who fights aliens at night? A white power ranger"

"I yelled at my wife ""Your miniskirt is way too short!!"" ""Thats because its made for a woman"" she replied ""Now take it off & give it to me"""

"If you ever come across a fork in the road Pick it up"

"Why was the storm trooper such a good dad? He could never hit his kids."

"Just because I don't post it everyday doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the things I have."

"I don't WANT new people to get murdered but I want Investigation Discovery to always have new material."