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Joke of the Day

"When someone says Jesus was a virgin ...I have to laugh. How about that one time he got nailed by a bunch of Romans?"

"Moaning and gasping ""Give it to me baby!"" during a prostate exam will leave you looking for a new doctor. Anybody know one?"

"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people."

"[wife looking at sketch of donut burglar on the news] ""he looks like you"" [me holding huge glass of milk on way to basement] it's not though"

"I have to stop saying ""Because I'm Batman"" all the time. It's not cute anymore. Oh wait. Yea it is! You know why? Because I'm Batman."

"Ireland's population is out of control It keeps Dublin and Dublin"

"Did yall see the Ebola donation thing that popped up on Face Book the other day? I clicked not now, because I thought it was some kind of virus."

"Some idiot put a water bottle in the Pringles can holder of this treadmill."

"Asked my friend what's he's going to wear for Halloween... ""Probably a condom."""

"On a long road trip.. When deciding whether to stop at a rest area, I always say, ""Speak now or forever hold your pee""."