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Joke of the Day

"I asked the librarian for a book on the Ebola virus. She said, ""It's in Siera Leone at the moment, but it should be here within the next few days!"""

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"What gym did Socrates go to? The Y."
"Did you know that after this next album, Matisyahu will be retiring? Soon he will be Jah-bless."
"I like when Google answers my stupid questions because it means I'm not the only one asking Google stupid questions."
"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 left him a note saying ""You're next""."
"Even in the darkest moments there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, but yours will probably be an oncoming freight train."
"Why isn't Hitler allowed at barbecues? Because he burns all the franks but leaves one undercooked."
"If the opposite of pro is con... Wouldn't the opposite of progress be the congress?"
"Yo momma so dumb, she wanted to try Salsa dancing but she couldn't get the jar open."
"I'm really good with cars, man. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's going. - Mitch Hedberg"